Life-changing Insights for Both Professional and Family Dementia Caregivers

By Rebekah Wilson, MSW, Dementia Education and Partnerships Director
Caregivers

I’ve worked with both groups of caregivers, these principles apply everywhere. Every month, I stand in front of hundreds of people who have chosen not only to work in healthcare, but to work in one of its most misunderstood specialties: dementia care. Over the past year, my colleagues and I have trained more than 4,500 professionals who support people living with dementia. Some are doctors, nurses, occupational therapists, and certified nursing assistants. Others are activities professionals, cooks, receptionists, landscapers, and housekeeping staff. In Arizona, anyone who interacts with residents in a memory care community is required to receive dementia-specific training. Our classes get very detailed. Yet even the most advanced techniques rest on a few foundational principles—ideas that can also make life easier for family caregivers at home.

1. PACING IS FUNDAMENTAL
   This one is so easy to lose sight of, yet vital. The key is to match your person’s pace. Whether it’s having a conversation, enjoying a meal or getting out the door, the pace must be set by the person living with dementia. There rarely are shortcuts here and trying to move things along more rapidly will often backfire, cause frustration and cost you more time. That’s right, the time spent slowing things down might test your patience, but at the end of the day you will actually save time. When people are rushed beyond what their brain can process, confusion and frustration increase. As dementia progresses, everyday tasks will take more time.
   
   
2. ABILITY CHANGES FROM MOMENT TO MOMENT
   One of the most challenging aspects of dementia is the inconsistency of a person’s abilities. People may be able to complete a task independently in the morning but need significant help later in the day. They may navigate one environment successfully yet struggle in another. They may remember a name today and forget it tomorrow. This unpredictability can be frustrating for caregivers who are trying to understand what to expect. It’s important to remember that these fluctuations are a normal part of dementia. Your loved one is not being stubborn, lazy, or manipulative. Their brain’s ability to process information can change from hour to hour and day to day. The fact that people cannot do something today does not mean they were pretending yesterday and it doesn’t mean they won’t be able to do it again tomorrow.
   
   
3. EMOTIONS HAVE PROFOUND IMPACT
   As dementia progresses, people living with the disease may have difficulty understanding what is happening around them or expressing themselves clearly. However, they continue to experience emotions deeply. In fact, the parts of the brain responsible for emotional processing are often affected later in the dementia journey than areas responsible for memory and reasoning. As a result, people may forget what was said but still remember how an interaction made them feel. That’s why tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, gestures, and appropriate touch are so powerful. When words become harder to understand, emotional communication becomes even more important. Your calm presence, patience, and warmth can help create a sense of safety and connection, even when conversation becomes difficult.

We can teach specific approaches for bathing, mealtimes, repetitive questions, or helping someone who wants to “go home.” Those techniques matter. But underneath every dementia care strategy are principles that inform them all, whether the caregiver is a professional or a loved one.